DAY 5

I was so weak today.

I could not face you....I could not even get out of the bed.

My anger is spent...and I miss you.

I wanted to see you and smile at you....and pretend that everything is okay.

But I also want to sleep the pain away. I want to sleep and feel nothing but I know waking up makes me miserable again.

I want to talk to you like and wash away our complications and fears with alcohol just like we used to.

I miss you as my person. I do not know how things can change so fast....how I ended up losing you to her.

Tomorrow is another day, I suppose.

I promised myself I would finally face you knowing what I know about you now.

Please be gentle to me. 

I will feel your uneasiness again...see how you will call your girlfriend...witness how you will repeatedly text your other girlfriend. I hope to never hear your excuses for I am tired of them. I dare not ask any questions that will leave me hoping again.

Please smile back when you catch my eye and see me smile. Smile back and not know that I am hurting inside. Smile back and have no idea how I am aching for you still.

I need to be stronger tomorrow. For tomorrow is another day for moving on...