After a few weeks of distancing myself and moving on...of you just squeezing my arm or me putting my arm around your shoulder before leaving work....you suddenly started noticing me again.
Your smile became more open like before when you see me entering the office...as if you were glad to see me. While me, on the other hand, was dreading to go to work and deal with your indifference again.
I avoided you and you finally seemed to catch on with what was happening...or you were just so confused with the state of your lovelife...a life I walked away from seeing that I was the last option.
You suddenly asked how I was...and said that you missed me because you have no "person" anymore..
So for 3 days...I became your person. And you became mine. Once again...like time did not pass...as if it was just yesterday that we were pouring our hearts out to each other.
You kissed my forehead again...we hugged once...twice...I held your hand and kissed it much to your surprise...and we went to places that we had never been because I didn't care anymore...that we were "just friends."
You finally told me what was going on with your life. I finally was able to be JUST YOUR PERSON to you. I said what I thought because you asked for it...I told it as it is...without any bitterness...without any regrets. As if it did not hurt that I was not one of your choices.
I gave you pieces of myself that I never give just to anybody...I made you see what makes me shine...and what makes me dark and twisty.
Did you finally see the real me?
Or are you still confused between number 1 and number 2?
I could have said I told you so...I could have said you should have chosen me and avoided all this emotional, physical and mental damage. Now you need me to be your "safe harbor"....your "stress ball"..
Now we drink...smoke...flirt like we used to do without any over the top sex talk...without me being emotionally attached...and without you feeling guilty.
Because we are just persons, right?
You are my person and I am your person. Just how you liked it from the very beginning.
I want more...I have always wanted more.
But for now...this is enough for me. Even though it hurts so much to hope.
I will be whatever you need me to be.
Because I am and always be your person.
