DAY 2

Today is harder for me.

It is harder because the anger has stopped...and I am left with questions.

Why wasn't it me?

Why did you not choose me?

What did I do wrong?

I long to ask you these but I know I will only ask questions I know the answers to.

I only missed you today. As if I will never see you again.

I do not want to see you anymore...knowing what I know about you now. Knowing you love her instead of me.

I want to stay mad at you...but it's hard. You were my friend and confidant...and you set my heart and body on fire once again.

When will it be me? Will it ever be me? Will it ever be our time?

My heart is tired and aching...as if death has taken you from me.

You were my person...but you will never know how much it is hurting me. You are too caught up with your emotions of her. It should have been me. It could still be me. I do not want to hope...but I am still hoping.

Lord, please help me stop hoping.

My kids need me. I need me.

I really thought you found me when I felt so lost...but you left me so suddenly.

Why, my person? Why?

I miss you so.

Day 2 is harder indeed. Here's wishing for easier days ahead...