Nothing has changed..

I don't deserve this treatment.

But I still hope.

And I hurt.

Hoping and hurting each day.

Longing.

Waiting.

When will I be free of you?

Longing.

Tonight I realized how much I love you.

And I wept.

I wanted to be with you so badly but I know you still need time to heal.

I don't ever want to be just a rebound girl.

I need to be your forever person.

So I cried and loved you in the silence of my mind and my heart.

I realized the lengths I would go to just to make you happy. Even if that means letting you go.

- Candz,July 22, 2017

What does it mean?

It was so unexpected...and so surprising...

But it was something I was longing for all this time.

You coming to me on your own...without me asking you too.

I will never forget that moment...when you said that you would be with me.

I waited with bated breath as you came closer....and closer.

Finally, you were kissing me...and touching me...and making me want more.

In the morning, without the drunken fervor we felt a few hours ago....we were one again.

What does it mean?

This time...you are not pulling away and I am filled with hope and wonder..

It means something to me..

Does it with you?

Pathetic.

It's almost 2:30am and I am eating chips and googling about how to let go of someone who doesn't love me.

I mean how pathetic is that?

Isn't it easy to forget someone who doesn't love me that way?

Am I so unloveable?

So depressed.

And so very lonely.