It's the start of June and I have decided to start quitting you.
I just wish I knew how to just magically quit you to lessen the pain and longing.
I have given up on trying to win you with my friendship.
It finally sunk in that I was just being used as a source of comfort and distraction...that you will not one day finally really see me and discover that you have fallen in love with me and will do anything to be with me.
No matter how much fun we have or how close we become or how many deep dark secrets we share with each other....you will always end up choosing one of them. I will just be the "forever" person (a.k.a. friend) who you love (as a friend...always just as a friend).
I seriously do not know how I have lasted this long pining over you...knowing that you are in love with two other girls. Is it because we have been together in one office for 3 years even though 2 years of those were spent not talking to each other?
Maybe my subconscious has been so used to being beside you all these years that it became deeply attached to you...even before we became close.
I longed for you for so long but it has to end.
You are just my friend...my officemate...my platonic "person".
My drinking buddy..my yosi buddy..
In all honesty, it really hurts to write all of this...knowing deep down that it is the truth...knowing I cannot do anything to change the situation or your feelings for me.
I just hope I can get over you eventually (sooner I hope) so I can move on with my life.
So today, I quit you.
Today, I quit the hope of us...the potential of forever...the maybes of two persons falling in love after years spent as strangers.
Today...I quit on loving you.
