You know nothing, Kiko..

You have no idea that I was looking for closure last night...

That I got the closure I was dreading because of your actions and your words.

I cannot understand why you are still choosing her...and why I still am not an option.

Why are you so blind?

Can't you see I'm the one in the middle? I'm the best of both worlds.

You know nothing of what I feel about you...all you know is I am conflicted like you.

You think I am with you because of what I tell you my problems are?

Don't you see that I choose to be with you because I like being with you? Even though it means constantly being rejected by you?

You do not know that I cry...and I lie...just to be with you?

I go out of my comfort zone so I can spend time with you.

Drink with you...smoke with you...go on food trips with you...

Last night was the night I finally accepted that you can never be mine...that your feelings for me will not change.

I am grateful for the distance we now have even though it will only last for a few days. It will give me the courage...and the strength...to finally let go of you...to stop holding on to romantic thoughts of a future with you.

You are too weak for me...when I am weak because of you.

I am hurting....when you are hurting because of someone else.

You know nothing, Kiko. Someday I hope you will see.

For now I will walk away....because you do not give me a reason to stay.